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ALL ABOARD THE PUNK’D TRAIN!

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Tick-tock… tick-tock… tick-tock…

The countdown has begun!

We have flung wide the window for submissions for the next in Cohesion Press’ SNAFU series (opened the shutters beforehand and everything!). The theme? PUNK’D. Yes, you read that right: PUNK’D. We are looking for all that in ‘PUNK’ in this next edition of the series. Give us your steampunk, your biopunk, cyberpunk, clockpunk, magicpunk, ecopunk, your retrofuturistic… you get the picture. (Or read here and here.)

As the editor-in-chief for Cohesion I tend to do when each sub window comes around, is write up a little sumpin’ sumpin’ regarding the guidelines and what I’m looking for and what I most definitely AM NOT looking for. These are vitally important when it comes to submitting stories to Cohesion.

As is my wont, I will also be filling this post with gifs because snark is built into my DNA, and gifs are the perfect medium for such.

Right! All aboard! Let’s get this baby chugging along!

From the above, you can rightly guess that we’ll be receiving quite a bit of steampunk, and while I do love me some horror-train goodness, the anthology won’t be filled with steampunk stories, so if that’s the way you want to roll, make sure you knock it out of the park – there can be only one (perhaps two).

While your imaginariums are firing on all cylinders, keep in mind that yes, PUNK is the theme but you must also give us ACTION and MONSTERS. The SNAFU series is military-based action-horror of the beasty kind. So give us your modded-creatures, your nano-creepy-crawlies, give us your nightmares… and have your factions fight those nasties!

ACTION. ACTION. ACTION. SNAFU tales are built on action, and it must be a major part of the tale you send us. Did I mention action? There should be action. Lots of it. And monsters.

Also, please keep in mind the anti-authoritarianism, anti-big corporate, pro-personal freedom that so often applies to the punk genre.

Hoo-boy, that’s a lot to take in! Much rules, many bits. But that’s the beauty of Punk that opens it up for such a wide-range of storytelling options. So go wild, my friends!

I would also like to point out that there’s also been slight changes to the guidelines, so have a good ol’ read of those. Seriously. Read them. Twice if you must. Score them into your grey matter and make sure to ADHERE to them – that’s really an important part of the process. Don’t hit the guidelines? Yep, you guessed it, it’s a rejection.

And speaking of rejections, it’s now time for the DO NOT WANT part of the submission process. Pay particular attention to this because holy shit, some fail the comprehension part of this section. DO NOT FAIL THE COMPREHENSION! BE THE COMPREHENSION!

Please get the following into your eyeballs:

  • Rape as a plot device/backstory
  • White saviour stories
  • Racism, bigotry, misogyny of any kind in the narrative voice
  • Child abuse/paedophilia (can’t believe we have to say this, but we do)
  • Rape as a plot device/backstory (yes, we have to say this twice)
  • Fanfiction or derivatives

Should any of the above appear in your tale, it will summarily rejected. No, you cannot argue the point. No, I don’t want to hear your ‘reasoning’ – it will be bullshit, and I don’t have the time nor the crayons to explain to you why this is so.

Something to keep in mind: SNAFU is predicated on action-based stories, active voice is your friend here. Sure, there’s a time and place for passive voice, but action/high tension scenes hit harder with active voice.

I work on a three-tier slush process:

  1. Slush: all stories are read and either rejected or moved to the longlist
  2. Longlist: all stories are re-read and either rejected or moved to the shortlist
  3. Shortlist: yep, re-read and either rejected or you move to ToC.

Note: No acceptances are sent out until AFTER the sub-window closes.

This may seem a laborious process, but it works for me and allows me to curate the best anthology of the stories submitted. The most difficult part is that there are times when I have to reject excellent stories because curating an anthology is also about how well the stories work together to make a kick-arse whole.

Oh, and should you make it to the ToC, your story will be edited. We will work together to make your story the best it can be. Your story may be lightly edited or heavily edited, but it will be edited. Discourse is always encouraged. Mutual respect is a given. You want to be an asshat? We will reject a story at ToC stage if any of the following occurs:

  • rude and/or derogatory comments
  • failure to implement edits and/or rewrites in a timely manner (deadlines be real)
  • requesting a male editor (true and shitty story)
  • attempting to slyly add words/phrases to your story that hit the DO NOT WANT marks listed earlier in this post (also a true and shitty story)

I think that pretty much covers everything. And if you’ve read this far, gold star to you!

Oh, and if you were unaware, all the SNAFU series is read by Tim Miller (Blur Studios), and some of our published stories have appeared in Love, Death & Robots. If this doesn’t inspire you to send us your very best, well… I got nothin’…

And one final note:

We actively encourage submissions from all cultural backgrounds, ethnicities, and identities. Storytelling is for everyone, and we are richer for it when all voices are heard.

Get writing!

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Editing, publishing, SNAFU

Update, SNAFU: Dead or Alive

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First, I want to give a shout-out to all the authors who subbed to SNAFU: Dead or Alive. *SHOUT-OUT TO ALL THE AUTHORS!*

Penning a story is an accomplishment in and of itself, and something for which you should be immensely proud. Sending said story out in the world can sometimes be a terrifying thing, but send it out you did and I am truly thankful for having read some great stories. But as is the way with slush, cuts need to be made. The first round of rejections have started going out, and if you’re on the receiving end of one of those, know that I read your story in full and appreciated the effort and time that went into sending us your work. Thank you. Thank you for showcasing the talents of the authors in this writing community. Keep up the amazing work!

Which brings me to the next round of the slush process: longlist.

Over the next week or so, all stories that have made it through to the longlist will be read again, and from this a shortlist will be made. While this may seem like a tedious process, it’s the process that works for me. It’s a lot of reading, it’s a lot of note-taking, it’s a lot of angst. Stories don’t just have to grab me by my ear and drag me in but curating an anthology requires stories to work together to make a kick-arse whole, and I don’t take this responsibility lightly.

As I move through the longlist-to-shortlist, the process does become quicker as the stories cement in my mind and the ToC starts to take shape.

Part of this process does mean that I’ll have to reject excellent stories, and that’s always a difficult and painful part of curating anthologies. It really is the shittest of shittest parts of the process—every editor will tell you the same.

So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a rejection, please know you wrote a great story, and keep on putting pen to paper… or fingers to keyboard. You are the reason publications can keep putting out anthologies.

For those of you who have moved through to the longlist, bear with me as I work through—you haven’t made this easy!

Thanks again to all the authors who subbed to Cohesion Press. You rock!

Editing, publishing, Ramblings, Writing

Giddy-up! It’s submission time!

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Mount-up, my friends, Cohesion Press‘ submission period for the next in the SNAFU series is upon us! SNAFU: Dead or Alive is open for subs, and we want your best weird western, action, horror stories.

As the editor-in-chief for Cohesion, and as is my wont, I always supplement the guidelines with my thoughts on the process and detail what we’re looking for and what we most definitely do not want to see in the slush pile. As is also my wont, this post will be filled with gifs to visually enhance this post because snark via gifs is such fun!

Right, don your riding boots and ten-gallon hat, let’s get this rodeo started!

See the source image

If you’ve read this far, I’m also hoping you’ve read the guidelines (super important), and understand that we want ACTION and MONSTERS within the theme of weird westerns. Both of those points are vitally important. No action? No sale. No monsters? No sale. If you don’t hit theme? You guessed it: no sale.

All the SNAFU series are action-based, military horror anthologies, and I cannot stress enough how that action has to be there if not from the get-go, then pretty soon after. We get a lot of submissions, and you need to grab my attention pretty damn quickly, make me want to read on. Make it impossible for me to not read on. Do that with action or with monsters or with a character(s) I’m invested in… or a combination of all. Give me the heroes and the villains, the hero-villains, monsters that roar and those that slither through shadows. Ignite your imagination of the nightmare kind and put that pen to paper.

There are three phases to the submission period. The first is slush, where I read all the stories and your tale is either rejected or moved to a longlist (note: no feedback on slush rejections, please don’t ask). From the longlist, all stories will be read again and either rejected or moved to the shortlist (note: no feedback on longlist rejections). From the shortlist, the ToC will be selected. Feedback will be given on shortlisted rejections. No acceptances will be given until the submission window is closed, and while we move to make this as quick a process as possible, we are diligent in our decisions, which means don’t expect an acceptance letter the day after the sub window closes.

Right, so now we get to the DO NOT WANT part of this blog post, and while these are mentioned in the guidelines, they always need to be amplified because there are those who either fail the comprehension part of this, or just choose to ignore it. Do not be that person.

The fact that I have to write a post for every sub window about the DO NOT WANT goes to show that this is an issue we continue to have. I like my eyes, do not subject them to the following:

  • Rape as a plot device/backstory
  • White saviour stories
  • Racism, bigotry, misogyny of any kind in the narrative voice
  • Child abuse/paedophilia (can’t believe we have to say this, but we do)
  • Rape as a plot device/backstory (yes, we have to say this twice)
  • Fanfiction or derivatives
See the source image

The moment I come across any of that shite in a story, it’s an automatic rejection. No correspondence will be entered into. There is no justification you can try to make that will have me listen. Guidelines are there for a reason, and the DO NOT WANT is a big damn part of that. If you have any of the above in a story you’re thinking of sending us, rewrite or send it elsewhere – we don’t want it. I cannot make that clear enough.

One of the other things I’d like to address is that this theme might have us see a propensity for white saviour stories. Don’t do that. Don’t write that, and if you think you should, then we don’t want to see it. You may think this theme is ripe for sending us that kind of shitfuckery, but you’d be so very wrong. We ain’t buying.

So many rules! (Guidelines, actually.) But they’re there for a reason, and if you can’t adhere to them, that tells me you’re likely not someone I want to work with through the editing stage.

#josh holloway from Hell is all I've ever known.

Ah, the editing stage. Yes. Your work will be edited. It could be a light edit, it could be a heavy edit — this is dependent upon each story. I am of the mindset that the author-editor relationship is one of mutual respect, and I’m happy to have discourse however, we at Cohesion edit for a reason and we will reject a story (even at ToC stage) for any of the following:

  • rude and/or derogatory comments
  • failure to implement edits and/or rewrites in a timely manner (we work to deadlines)
  • requesting a male editor (true, and shitty story)
  • attempting to slyly add words/phrases to your story that hit the DO NOT WANT marks listed earlier in this post (also a true and shitty story)

Right, that seems to be it from me for now. (Finally, I hear you say, and fair call, compadres.) But I will add that if you’re unaware, the SNAFU series is read by Tim Miller (Blur Studios), and some of the stories published in our editions have appeared in his animated series Love, Death & Robots. So send us your absolute best work. Unleash your monsters, and give us action that has our pulse quicken and our mouths run dry.

And one final note:

We actively encourage submissions from all cultural backgrounds, ethnicities, and identities. Storytelling is for everyone, and we are richer for it when all voices are heard.

See the source image
Cool stuff, Editing, publishing, Ramblings, Reading, Writing

Holy Slush-o-rama!

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Cohesion Press is opening their submission window October 1, for SNAFU: Holy War. So don your writing pants, it’s slush time, baby!

I love this time of… slush. It’s a lot of reading, sure, but every click to open a file ignites that hope, that wonder of finding a gem within. That’s exciting stuff, getting to read stories from authors we know and those we don’t. There’s true joy in discovering new writers, discovering new storytellers, and getting their tales out into the world.

As is par for the course with a SNAFU open call, I like to write a little sumpin’ sumpin’ about what to expect from the process, discuss theme, and provide some general pointers to make this easier for all involved… <opens arms wide> … and here we are. And just a quick note: this post will be filled with ‘David Rose’ gifs… because, well David Rose.

During our last sub-window, I wrote a post on slush and what we look for, plus a general overview of the process, which will be similar although not the same as most slush piles. That will give you a guide to what we’re looking for when it comes to SNAFU stories in the most general way – remember, be on point with theme.

And this edition is a hell of a theme.

As a mate of mine pointed out, the theme of ‘Holy War’ is a “bold move”, hence the specificity of the guidelines we’ve put together, and the special notes on what we DO NOT WANT. Pay close attention to those because we understand that in light of the theme, things could get ugly. So, in short, if you come at me with your bigotry or misogyny or your white-saviour stories, you’re not going to get a look-in. Period. Write better than that, be better than that.

At its heart, the SNAFU series is action-based military horror with characters that resonate and monsters of the nightmare kind. Tales that linger. We’re not looking for slow-burn stories, we’re not looking for trunk stories either (we can spot those, don’t think we can’t). And when we say ‘military’ that doesn’t limit you to soldiers of the contemporary kind, nor does it confine you to modern or on-world settings. We’ve published everything from Neanderthal hunting parties to far-future sci-fi within the same volume.

What we care about is killer stories told well, and considering our theme, there were tropes we wanted to address that we’d rather not see, and some you shouldn’t send us at all. If the first thing that comes to mind when you hear ‘Holy War’ is the Crusades, then that’s going to be a hard sell. We expect to see a lot of those, though we’d rather not. Same with any story that has Christian didacticism (I’ve seen enough of that in our slush to last me everyone’s lifetime). Same with any white saviour stories – we’re not buying.

We want you to think outside the box with this. Do a little research if you must. Theology has a wide range of belief systems, and faith isn’t limited to popularity. Hell, create your own faith-based doctrine, revive a forgotten one. Don’t limit yourself to a Google search. Light a fire under your imaginarium and see where those sparks take you.

Action. The more the better. Let the bullets fly, give the arrows wing, let the blades sink deep into flesh. Blow some shit up. Get the adrenalin surging, blood pumping. Give us that piss-your-pants fear-filled courage. You know, all the good stuff!

Crank up the volume of your monsters, too. Give us the stuff of your nightmare’s nightmares. Give us dread, existential dread that makes you want to sleep with the light on. Make it loud… or make it quiet. The sneaky-sneak of monsters is just as terrifying as a roar that rattles the bones, sometimes more so.

Speaking of dread, one of the things I want to address here is part of the ‘do not want’ section of the guidelines, and something I saw too damn much of during our last sub-window. Just let me get out my all-caps for this: DO NOT USE RAPE AS A PLOT DEVICE/BACKSTORY!

I’ll say again: DO NOT USE RAPE AS A PLOT DEVICE/BACKSTORY!

This should not be your ‘fall-back’ to show that someone is evil or the villain in your story. If that’s the only way you can think to give a character agency, or to show a reader a particular character is bad, then you need to re-engage your imagination. Also, do not send us that shit. You’re wasting my time and yours. It won’t be published by us. “But, but, but…” I hear you say? No. Just no. This isn’t a debate.

Right, on to the last little bit of info re our slush process. We work in phases. Slush is obvs Phase 1, and where a story is either rejected or moved to a long list. During Phase 2, all stories on the long list are read again, and will be either rejected or moved to the short list. Phase 3 is where we’ll make the final decision on the ToC. No story selections will be made until the AFTER the sub window closes.

We do not provide feedback on stories that are rejected in Phase 1. We may provide limited feedback on stories rejected within Phase 2, depending on workload. Should your story make it to Phase 3 and is rejected, we will provide feedback.

We’re writers too, so we understand what it’s like sitting the other side of the desk. We try to make this process as painless and as seamless as possible. Our decisions aren’t open for debate. Oh, and you cannot reject our rejection (true story), just sayin’.

For those of you unaware, three SNAFU stories appeared in season one of Love, Death & Robots, and some other SNAFU stories have been picked-up for season two. Tim Miller reads our anthologies, so if that doesn’t light a fire under your bum to send us your best work, then… well, then… ahh… SEND US YOUR BEST WORK!

/rant

Festivus, publishing, Ramblings, Reading

Festivus Book Pimping. SNAFU: Last Stand (Cohesion Press)

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Yes, yes, I know. I am still shit at the regularity of Festivus Book Pimping, but get ready for a deluge! It’s gonna rain books, my friends! And while that may appear painful… BOOKS!

Right then, let’s get this party started.

Today, we’re going to settle into some military horror in the form of SNAFU: Last Stand, the latest release from Cohesion Press. Fourteen stories from fourteen amazing writers from all over the world, and with a foreword written by Hollywood director, Tim Miller (Terminator: Dark Fate, Deadpool). Tim loves the SNAFU series, and stories from some of its tomes have been reimagined in Netflix’s Emmy-winning animated series, Love, Death & Robots (you really should check it out, it’s killer), in both season one and the upcoming season two.

As the editor-in-chief of Cohesion Press, I’m partial to the books, and this one especially. Working with editor, Matthew Summers, the stories cover the gamut of ‘last stand’, and with a linear timeline, we move from Neanderthals right through to future warfare. There’s cosmic horror and voodoo, Sumerian gods and biological ‘gone-wrongs’, giant maggots, killer ‘skitters’, and huge fucking bats… to name but a few.

With the theme of ‘last stand’, you get to the best and the worst in people, the heroics and sacrifice – survival is very much on the table but those pickings be slim. Last Stand shows the mettle of those thrown into untenable situations and what they’ll do to beat back that tide. Each is a law (lore?) unto itself, and it’s a hell of a ride.

Here’s the blurb:

“This is it, mofos. This is the end game. We’ve got nowhere else to go, and no bugger’s coming to save us.
We’re either doing this or we’re gonna die trying, because it all depends on you. There is no going back. So lock, load, and get ready to rumble!”
SNAFU: Last Stand is a collated anthology of short stories of a final battle, no matter where it is or who it involves.
It’s the Battle of Thermopylae, the Alamo, the Battle of Mirbat, the First Battle of Mogadishu, the Battle of Hel, and Custer’s Last Stand, all rolled up into one badass monster-fighting basket of SNAFU-style action.

SNAFU Last Stand

And here’s the ToC, with links to the authors (who have them) for anyone wanting to dive into more of their work:

Beast Trap by JG Grimmer

Skitter by Anna Stephens

Seeing the Elephant by B Michael Radburn

Midnight in the House of Bats by Josh Reynolds

Leapfrogging by Buck Bloomingdale

Firefall by Mike Barretta

Katadesmos by Amanda Dier

The Throat by Alan Baxter

Breach by JW Stinson

Canute by RPL Johnson

Of Meat and Man by Jason Fischer

Jawbreaker by Justin Coates

Final Harvest by Justin Bell

Conditioning by Patrick Freivald

 

Biased I may be, but that’s a hella bang for your buck. Currently available in e-formats, although print copies will be coming soon.

Recommended for (everyone) those who like horror, military horror, cosmic horror, fantastical themes, big fuck-off monsters, nightmares.

Festivus, Ramblings, Reading, Reviews, Uncategorized

Festivus Book Pimping – The Long War: Tales from the Pharos Saga by Justin Coates

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All right, I have been Sucky McSucky-Claus (clause?) when it comes to Festivus Pimpage these last few days, but in my defence, there just aren’t enough hours in my smoke-haze-filled days. Also, smoke haze gives the shit gift of headaches.

PIMPAGE! IT’S PIMPAGE TIME!

For a change of pace, it’s story collection time! One of the authors I’ve worked with a few times in the SNAFU series is a hell of a writer and I wish more people knew just how talented he is so I’m gonna shout this from the rooftop… carefully, you know, ‘cause we have a pitched roof…

Right then, Justin Coates’ collection, The Long War: Tales from the Pharos Saga, hits all the marks for edge-of-your seat horror. Fast paced and action-filled, it covers a gamut of monsters and themes that cover an array of time periods that are all linked within this crazy cosmic world of his. This is a mix of previously published stories as well as original content that is melded perfectly together to form one hell of a reading experience.

 

The Long War

Here’s the blurb:

Demons. Aliens. Vampires. The undead. These and more prey on humanity from the shadows, and from the shadows, arise those brave or foolhardy enough to stand against them. These are their stories: a disgraced priestess on a mission to kill a god, an agent from a secretive government organization sent to investigate a series of grisly murders, a soldier on the front lines of an apocalyptic war, a slave haunted by the whispers of a dark spirit, a reluctant serial killer desperate to stop a far greater danger, and more. Featuring stories previously published in military horror anthologies, as well as exclusive content not published elsewhere, the Long War collection introduces the reader to the world of the Pharos Saga, a setting that spans from the distant past to the not-so-distant future, and invites them to stand against the night in a battle for the very soul of humanity.

 

Even knowing the skill with which Justin can craft a story, I flew through this collection and it cemented an even greater appreciation for the imagination and unadulterated visceral connection he can make between character and reader. I fucking loved it. And as this is Volume One of the Pharos Saga, I cannot wait for him to get Volume Two done and dusted.

Recommended for those who enjoy horror, military horror, cosmic horror, thrillers, dark fantasy, weird horror, sci-fi, short story collections, and just general bad-arsery (or assery for those of the US persuasion).

 

 

Editing, publishing, Writing

Let’s talk about slush, ba-by…

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Let’s talk about you and me… Okay, okay, so my flashback to the ’90s is a little sad but kinda on point for this blog post. As one of the editors for the SNAFU anthologies, and with an upcoming submission window opening, Matthew Summers and I would like to talk about stories, slush, and selections.

Disclaimer time. The information provided here does not guarantee Matt and I will select your story for publication – plot, character, and voice will. But don’t send us a romance tale when it’s military monster horror we’re after. We will cut you.

Right then. Let’s kick this baby off with the guidelines for the open sub window for SNAFU: Last Stand (just click that link). While stories subbed to Cohesion Press have specific marks that need to be hit, one thing EVERYONE needs to understand when subbing a tale to ANY market is to not only READ the guidelines but ADHERE to them (the adhering is the most important part). Know your market.

Slush, we’ve all been there. Jostling for position, stuck in the hell that is the slush pile, shouting ‘look at me’ as you push toward the roped-off area that is the shortlist. So how do you get past the cordon? Look, reading is subjective – what I like someone else may not (they’re wrong), but if the past couple of SNAFUs have taught me anything, it’s that Matt and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to story selection. Not once have we had to fight it out (I’d win because I fight dirty, just sayin’). But your opening line, your opening paragraph, has to hook us and the following paragraphs need to reel us in. Your start needs to be strong, and it needs to build from there.

Stuck in Hell by 13UG-13th

Your aim, at this point, is to get onto that shortlist, and a killer opening scene is just the way to do it. Does that mean exploding out of the gate all guns blazing? Perhaps. We love high-action tales, and that’s bound to grab our attention. But it can also be that one line that sets the tone for what’s to come. One of my favourite opening lines from a story in SNAFU: Resurrection is from Conviction by NX Sharps – ‘On the 152nd day of our posting at Fort Conviction, Private Olyver Bagwell shit himself to death.’  That certainly had us take notice.

But the follow-up has to hold water. If your story doesn’t make good on its opening promise, then you could be in some trouble. Think about the story you’re wanting to tell, of the character(s) leading us through. A tale well written isn’t going to resonate as much as one that has me and Matt fate-invested.

That being said, well-written is definitely going to get you a look-in. We want narrative that moves a story forward, we want wordsmiths who know how to give us those evocative visuals that bring the horror, the fear, the dread. Active voice is your friend here. Spelling and grammar? We got that, but too many errors and we’re pulled from the story – it’s the same for all those babies sitting in slush piles.  

With the theme of Last Stand, characters will need to make their mark here. Interpret Last Stand as you will, there are an infinite number of ways to incorporate that into your story, but make that tale linger, make us think about it long after we’ve finished reading. And give us action. Make our hearts beat furiously, give us those ‘oh shit’ moments, and make your monsters fucking terrifying. Remember, this is horror, monster horror… with guns and shit.   

One of the best and hardest part of this process is the final selection from the shortlist. Matt and I have passed on some truly great stories, which is always a difficult thing to do. And we don’t take these decisions lightly – a lot of time goes into decision-making, a lot of discussion and back and forths until we have the mixture just right. We don’t make acceptances as we go; something we love early on may not make the cut because a later story in a similar vein resonates more. Our aim here is to provide our readers with a variety of kick-arse tales, where you don’t know what’s coming but you’re hanging for it just the same. The overriding theme that ties them together, obviously, is ‘last stand’. Make it count.

So while I hope this helps you to understand our process, I also hope it helps you to understand the process for any slush pile you find yourself in. Writing truly is the best gig in the world, and rejections are a part of that. We know. Matt and I both sit the other side of the table, we’ve had stories accepted and we’ve faced that sting of rejection. We understand the work, the effort, the time and the angst that goes into getting those words onto the page, of wrangling your imagination into narrative. We salute every one of you.

And for those of you who make it to that final ToC, just a note here to let you know the work has only just begun. There will be edits. We may ask for tweaks, we may ask for rewrites, we may cut a little, we may cut a lot. Thing is, we’ve been doing this a long time, we know our audience and we know what they like. Be professional, not precious. Co-operation is key here. That’s a two-way street, and we have cut stories because of bad author behaviour. Don’t be that person. Keep communication lines open and listen to us as we’ll listen to you. Our aim here is to get the most out of your story, and we will work hard to make it so.

But just before I go, as you may have seen, the introduction for SNAFU: Last Stand will be written by Tim Miller (yes, of Deadpool and the new Terminator fame). As such, we understand the slush pile may well be large – Tim will be reading the final tales. And if that isn’t a reason to send us your very best, I don’t know what is.

Submission window for SNAFU: Last Stand opens April 1st, 2019. (No, that’s not a joke. Yes, we are laughing.)

Festivus, publishing, Reading, Reviews

Festivus Book Pimping: The Tide series by Anthony J Melchiorri

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Next in the Festivus Pimping of the Books comes from Anthony J Melchiorri in the form of his military horror series, The Tide. If you’re looking for monsters with a voracious appetite then this is the book… books for you! Like seriously, these are some of the best developed and creepy AF monsters created.

I’ve read five in this series, with the sixth novel only just released (must get on that), and the writing is phenomenally good. Melchorri knows how to weave a tale and keep the action and the tension high pretty much throughout the books. You get small reprieves, but in this world of monsters, any reprieve is welcomed.

As there are six books in the series, I’m not going to give you a breakdown of each – that’d take too long, but here’s the back-cover blurb for the first in the series ‒ The Tide:

Captain Dominic Holland leads a crew of skilled covert operatives and talented scientific personnel. He’s taken them to all corners of the earth to protect the United States from biological and chemical warfare. When his CIA handler, Meredith Webb, gives him a mission to investigate a disturbing lead on a laboratory based out of an abandoned oil rig, they discover the most terrifying threat to mankind they’ve ever faced—a genetically engineered biological weapon called the Oni Agent.

Back in the United States, Meredith discovers a frightening connection between the CIA and the Oni Agent. But her investigations are short-lived when the Agent spreads and brings mankind to its knees. Cities burn as it turns humans into warped creatures hell-bent on destruction.

Dominic and Meredith vow to do everything they can to combat the Agent and find a cure. But will their efforts be enough to turn the tide—or is humanity’s fate already sealed?

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These are some badass creatures, and it’s clear Melchiorri’s has tapped into his background in Biomedical Engineering (do not let this man loose in a lab without a serious supply of caffeine) to warp humans into what the characters affectionately call “Skulls”. I’d so love to tell you why, but I don’t want to taint the joy of that discovery for you.

There’s a lot to love about this series: the characters are flawed and believable, the fight scenes are graphically awesome, the Skulls and the way their DNA warps them is most excellent, and the writing is sharp and on point. And guns. There’s a whole bunch of firepower in these books. Oh, and Melchiorri doesn’t shy from killing off characters – that’s a definite plus for me; sometimes you gotta make the hard call.

So if you’re looking to put some horror into your Christmas (and not just the horror of venturing into the Christmas crowds), then I can’t recommend this series enough.

Recommended for lovers of horror, military horror, apocalypse tales, killer monsters, covert ops, political bastardry, puppies.

Available in all formats.

Reading, Reviews

Book Review: The Tide by Anthony J Melchiorri

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Aaaand, we’re back! Two posts in two days? If this keeps up the world will spin off its axis…unless you’re a Flat-Earther, then it’s more a tilt of the space turtle and four careening elephants. Ahem. Where was I?

It’s review time! We love review time. Well, I love review time, especially when I come across a new author (or rather a new author to me). It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was introduced to Anthony J Melchiorri’s work, and what a fun and frightening introduction it’s been. Melchiorri’s stories drag you in and don’t let you go. And yes, that was a deliberate plural. While I’m only reviewing the first book in The Tide series, I’m currently halfway through the third.

Two things before we go forward: 1) big shout out to Geoff Brown for putting me onto the series – you rock, dude; and 2)…

SPOILER ALERT! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. THERE, THERE BE SPOILERS. THERE’S A SPOILER BENEATH THAT CUSHION, AND ANOTHER UNDER THE CAT. BECAUSE CATS, MAN.

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The Tide, as you can probably tell by the cover, is apocalyptic military horror – one of my favourite genres. It’s also a genre that can be difficult to get right, but Melchiorri hits all the right notes with this first book. What he doesn’t do, is bog down the beginning with over-explanation and character introduction but rather drops the reader right into the horror of what’s to come.

The prelude gives the reader a graphic understanding of the potential of a genetically-engineered bioweapon crudely developed during WWII by the Japanese. It ain’t pretty, and I was hooked. Fast forward to current times and we’re introduced to Captain Dominic Holland and his ‘Hunters’, a group of covert operatives who work for the CIA off-the-books. And these Hunters have some serious firepower and a kick-arse ship at their disposal. Not to mention hackers and scientists that complete the diverse bunch.

Melchiorri is a bioengineer by trade, and it’s abundantly clear with the monsters he creates in the books, that he knows his stuff (as an aside, please don’t give the man free-rein with pathogens without a steady stream of caffeine). There’s a good deal of science involved in the story, but if you’re like me and have a rudimentary understanding of it, you’re not going to get lost when it comes to the biology et al. And biology it is. The monsters in The Tide are some of the best I’ve read. The virus developed back in WWII has been expanded upon, and what it turns humanity into is… hell. Called ‘Skulls’ due to the victims’ human skeleton becoming an exo-skeleton of disturbing sorts, this is nightmare fuel for all involved. And fast, these monsters are fast and voraciously hungry.

While Melchiorri doesn’t let up on the action, there’s a good balance in the peaks and troughs he’s worked throughout the story. Just when you’re getting some downtime (reader and characters alike), the tension ramps up and you’re back into the thick of things. When you add in Holland’s daughters needing to be rescued as the world turns to shit (although eldest daughter Kara can hold her own), the stakes are raised even higher. It’s this type of storytelling that can literally be called a page-turner.  I finished this book in four days… well nights, as I read before bed, and Melchiorri seriously owes me some nap time.

This is some seriously good storytelling with well-rounded characters, high action, and intense tension. And monsters, damn but Melchiorri’s monsters are unique and unnerving. You won’t be disappointed.

On a Goodreads scale, I give The Tide five stars.

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Festivus Book Pimping – Into the Mist by Lee Murray

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Yes, yes, I’m cutting it fine with the Festivus Book Pimping, but remember, as much as I love a print book (oooh, they smell so good!), ebooks are also damn fine presents. So kicking off today’s Festivus pimping is mutli-award-winning New Zealand author, Lee Murray, with her book Into the Mist.

RAWR!

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As you can tell from the absolutely kick-arse cover , Into the Mist, is a military horror creature-feature tale, but this one is set in the wilds of New Zealand with a creature ripped straight from Māori legend. It was very cool to read not only Murray’s vivid descriptions of the NZ back-country, but to delve into the culture and rites of a strong and proud people.

Into the Mist (Cohesion Press), follows NZDF Sergeant Taine McKenna and his squad as they escort a group of civilian contractors into the Te Urewera National Park. Not usually a job for the army, McKenna’s other task (off the books) is to find any trace of squad that had vanished while trekking through the National Park.

From the back-cover blurb:

Militant Tūhoe separatists are active in the area, and with its cloying mist and steep ravines, the forest is a treacherous place in winter. Yet nothing has prepared Taine for the true danger that awaits them … a prehistoric creature intent on picking them off one by one.

From the outset, you’re thrust into the action, and the tension Murray weaves throughout the story never lets up. With sub-plots woven perfectly through the tale, the reader is given a glimpse of the rich Māori history, and the struggles to maintain their culture and their land against those intent to profit from it. It’s brutal, it’s gory, and when the chase is on, your gut will be clenching right along with the soldiers and the civilian charges.

And this beastie? Oh, it’s smart, and it’s stealthy, and it’s impervious to the squad’s guns. And shoot it a lot… and you know that only makes the monster mad… and vengeful. Murray is a mistress of tension, and she will make you dance to her tune. I was enamoured with this book, but I grew up on stories of Māori legend via my father (he’s Pākehā, not Māori), so this was a real delight. And it’s wonderful to see diversity in fiction; the world needs more of it.

There’s also a glossary of Māori and local terms for those unfamiliar with the country and its culture, but the way Murray tells the story, understanding is a given.

Read this book you must. Give it as a gift you also must. But I guarantee it will be one you can’t put down. You can read a review of Into the Mist here.

Recommended for lovers of horror, military horror, creature-feature, and balls-to-the-wall fear-mongering. Yeah, this book has it all.

Go, now, Festivus Into the Mist, you won’t be disappointed.

RAWR!