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ALL ABOARD THE PUNK’D TRAIN!

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Tick-tock… tick-tock… tick-tock…

The countdown has begun!

We have flung wide the window for submissions for the next in Cohesion Press’ SNAFU series (opened the shutters beforehand and everything!). The theme? PUNK’D. Yes, you read that right: PUNK’D. We are looking for all that in ‘PUNK’ in this next edition of the series. Give us your steampunk, your biopunk, cyberpunk, clockpunk, magicpunk, ecopunk, your retrofuturistic… you get the picture. (Or read here and here.)

As the editor-in-chief for Cohesion I tend to do when each sub window comes around, is write up a little sumpin’ sumpin’ regarding the guidelines and what I’m looking for and what I most definitely AM NOT looking for. These are vitally important when it comes to submitting stories to Cohesion.

As is my wont, I will also be filling this post with gifs because snark is built into my DNA, and gifs are the perfect medium for such.

Right! All aboard! Let’s get this baby chugging along!

From the above, you can rightly guess that we’ll be receiving quite a bit of steampunk, and while I do love me some horror-train goodness, the anthology won’t be filled with steampunk stories, so if that’s the way you want to roll, make sure you knock it out of the park – there can be only one (perhaps two).

While your imaginariums are firing on all cylinders, keep in mind that yes, PUNK is the theme but you must also give us ACTION and MONSTERS. The SNAFU series is military-based action-horror of the beasty kind. So give us your modded-creatures, your nano-creepy-crawlies, give us your nightmares… and have your factions fight those nasties!

ACTION. ACTION. ACTION. SNAFU tales are built on action, and it must be a major part of the tale you send us. Did I mention action? There should be action. Lots of it. And monsters.

Also, please keep in mind the anti-authoritarianism, anti-big corporate, pro-personal freedom that so often applies to the punk genre.

Hoo-boy, that’s a lot to take in! Much rules, many bits. But that’s the beauty of Punk that opens it up for such a wide-range of storytelling options. So go wild, my friends!

I would also like to point out that there’s also been slight changes to the guidelines, so have a good ol’ read of those. Seriously. Read them. Twice if you must. Score them into your grey matter and make sure to ADHERE to them – that’s really an important part of the process. Don’t hit the guidelines? Yep, you guessed it, it’s a rejection.

And speaking of rejections, it’s now time for the DO NOT WANT part of the submission process. Pay particular attention to this because holy shit, some fail the comprehension part of this section. DO NOT FAIL THE COMPREHENSION! BE THE COMPREHENSION!

Please get the following into your eyeballs:

  • Rape as a plot device/backstory
  • White saviour stories
  • Racism, bigotry, misogyny of any kind in the narrative voice
  • Child abuse/paedophilia (can’t believe we have to say this, but we do)
  • Rape as a plot device/backstory (yes, we have to say this twice)
  • Fanfiction or derivatives

Should any of the above appear in your tale, it will summarily rejected. No, you cannot argue the point. No, I don’t want to hear your ‘reasoning’ – it will be bullshit, and I don’t have the time nor the crayons to explain to you why this is so.

Something to keep in mind: SNAFU is predicated on action-based stories, active voice is your friend here. Sure, there’s a time and place for passive voice, but action/high tension scenes hit harder with active voice.

I work on a three-tier slush process:

  1. Slush: all stories are read and either rejected or moved to the longlist
  2. Longlist: all stories are re-read and either rejected or moved to the shortlist
  3. Shortlist: yep, re-read and either rejected or you move to ToC.

Note: No acceptances are sent out until AFTER the sub-window closes.

This may seem a laborious process, but it works for me and allows me to curate the best anthology of the stories submitted. The most difficult part is that there are times when I have to reject excellent stories because curating an anthology is also about how well the stories work together to make a kick-arse whole.

Oh, and should you make it to the ToC, your story will be edited. We will work together to make your story the best it can be. Your story may be lightly edited or heavily edited, but it will be edited. Discourse is always encouraged. Mutual respect is a given. You want to be an asshat? We will reject a story at ToC stage if any of the following occurs:

  • rude and/or derogatory comments
  • failure to implement edits and/or rewrites in a timely manner (deadlines be real)
  • requesting a male editor (true and shitty story)
  • attempting to slyly add words/phrases to your story that hit the DO NOT WANT marks listed earlier in this post (also a true and shitty story)

I think that pretty much covers everything. And if you’ve read this far, gold star to you!

Oh, and if you were unaware, all the SNAFU series is read by Tim Miller (Blur Studios), and some of our published stories have appeared in Love, Death & Robots. If this doesn’t inspire you to send us your very best, well… I got nothin’…

And one final note:

We actively encourage submissions from all cultural backgrounds, ethnicities, and identities. Storytelling is for everyone, and we are richer for it when all voices are heard.

Get writing!

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Editing, publishing, SNAFU

Update, SNAFU: Dead or Alive

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First, I want to give a shout-out to all the authors who subbed to SNAFU: Dead or Alive. *SHOUT-OUT TO ALL THE AUTHORS!*

Penning a story is an accomplishment in and of itself, and something for which you should be immensely proud. Sending said story out in the world can sometimes be a terrifying thing, but send it out you did and I am truly thankful for having read some great stories. But as is the way with slush, cuts need to be made. The first round of rejections have started going out, and if you’re on the receiving end of one of those, know that I read your story in full and appreciated the effort and time that went into sending us your work. Thank you. Thank you for showcasing the talents of the authors in this writing community. Keep up the amazing work!

Which brings me to the next round of the slush process: longlist.

Over the next week or so, all stories that have made it through to the longlist will be read again, and from this a shortlist will be made. While this may seem like a tedious process, it’s the process that works for me. It’s a lot of reading, it’s a lot of note-taking, it’s a lot of angst. Stories don’t just have to grab me by my ear and drag me in but curating an anthology requires stories to work together to make a kick-arse whole, and I don’t take this responsibility lightly.

As I move through the longlist-to-shortlist, the process does become quicker as the stories cement in my mind and the ToC starts to take shape.

Part of this process does mean that I’ll have to reject excellent stories, and that’s always a difficult and painful part of curating anthologies. It really is the shittest of shittest parts of the process—every editor will tell you the same.

So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a rejection, please know you wrote a great story, and keep on putting pen to paper… or fingers to keyboard. You are the reason publications can keep putting out anthologies.

For those of you who have moved through to the longlist, bear with me as I work through—you haven’t made this easy!

Thanks again to all the authors who subbed to Cohesion Press. You rock!

Editing, publishing, Ramblings, Writing

Giddy-up! It’s submission time!

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Mount-up, my friends, Cohesion Press‘ submission period for the next in the SNAFU series is upon us! SNAFU: Dead or Alive is open for subs, and we want your best weird western, action, horror stories.

As the editor-in-chief for Cohesion, and as is my wont, I always supplement the guidelines with my thoughts on the process and detail what we’re looking for and what we most definitely do not want to see in the slush pile. As is also my wont, this post will be filled with gifs to visually enhance this post because snark via gifs is such fun!

Right, don your riding boots and ten-gallon hat, let’s get this rodeo started!

See the source image

If you’ve read this far, I’m also hoping you’ve read the guidelines (super important), and understand that we want ACTION and MONSTERS within the theme of weird westerns. Both of those points are vitally important. No action? No sale. No monsters? No sale. If you don’t hit theme? You guessed it: no sale.

All the SNAFU series are action-based, military horror anthologies, and I cannot stress enough how that action has to be there if not from the get-go, then pretty soon after. We get a lot of submissions, and you need to grab my attention pretty damn quickly, make me want to read on. Make it impossible for me to not read on. Do that with action or with monsters or with a character(s) I’m invested in… or a combination of all. Give me the heroes and the villains, the hero-villains, monsters that roar and those that slither through shadows. Ignite your imagination of the nightmare kind and put that pen to paper.

There are three phases to the submission period. The first is slush, where I read all the stories and your tale is either rejected or moved to a longlist (note: no feedback on slush rejections, please don’t ask). From the longlist, all stories will be read again and either rejected or moved to the shortlist (note: no feedback on longlist rejections). From the shortlist, the ToC will be selected. Feedback will be given on shortlisted rejections. No acceptances will be given until the submission window is closed, and while we move to make this as quick a process as possible, we are diligent in our decisions, which means don’t expect an acceptance letter the day after the sub window closes.

Right, so now we get to the DO NOT WANT part of this blog post, and while these are mentioned in the guidelines, they always need to be amplified because there are those who either fail the comprehension part of this, or just choose to ignore it. Do not be that person.

The fact that I have to write a post for every sub window about the DO NOT WANT goes to show that this is an issue we continue to have. I like my eyes, do not subject them to the following:

  • Rape as a plot device/backstory
  • White saviour stories
  • Racism, bigotry, misogyny of any kind in the narrative voice
  • Child abuse/paedophilia (can’t believe we have to say this, but we do)
  • Rape as a plot device/backstory (yes, we have to say this twice)
  • Fanfiction or derivatives
See the source image

The moment I come across any of that shite in a story, it’s an automatic rejection. No correspondence will be entered into. There is no justification you can try to make that will have me listen. Guidelines are there for a reason, and the DO NOT WANT is a big damn part of that. If you have any of the above in a story you’re thinking of sending us, rewrite or send it elsewhere – we don’t want it. I cannot make that clear enough.

One of the other things I’d like to address is that this theme might have us see a propensity for white saviour stories. Don’t do that. Don’t write that, and if you think you should, then we don’t want to see it. You may think this theme is ripe for sending us that kind of shitfuckery, but you’d be so very wrong. We ain’t buying.

So many rules! (Guidelines, actually.) But they’re there for a reason, and if you can’t adhere to them, that tells me you’re likely not someone I want to work with through the editing stage.

#josh holloway from Hell is all I've ever known.

Ah, the editing stage. Yes. Your work will be edited. It could be a light edit, it could be a heavy edit — this is dependent upon each story. I am of the mindset that the author-editor relationship is one of mutual respect, and I’m happy to have discourse however, we at Cohesion edit for a reason and we will reject a story (even at ToC stage) for any of the following:

  • rude and/or derogatory comments
  • failure to implement edits and/or rewrites in a timely manner (we work to deadlines)
  • requesting a male editor (true, and shitty story)
  • attempting to slyly add words/phrases to your story that hit the DO NOT WANT marks listed earlier in this post (also a true and shitty story)

Right, that seems to be it from me for now. (Finally, I hear you say, and fair call, compadres.) But I will add that if you’re unaware, the SNAFU series is read by Tim Miller (Blur Studios), and some of the stories published in our editions have appeared in his animated series Love, Death & Robots. So send us your absolute best work. Unleash your monsters, and give us action that has our pulse quicken and our mouths run dry.

And one final note:

We actively encourage submissions from all cultural backgrounds, ethnicities, and identities. Storytelling is for everyone, and we are richer for it when all voices are heard.

See the source image
Cool stuff, Editing, publishing, Ramblings, Reading, Writing

Holy Slush-o-rama!

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Cohesion Press is opening their submission window October 1, for SNAFU: Holy War. So don your writing pants, it’s slush time, baby!

I love this time of… slush. It’s a lot of reading, sure, but every click to open a file ignites that hope, that wonder of finding a gem within. That’s exciting stuff, getting to read stories from authors we know and those we don’t. There’s true joy in discovering new writers, discovering new storytellers, and getting their tales out into the world.

As is par for the course with a SNAFU open call, I like to write a little sumpin’ sumpin’ about what to expect from the process, discuss theme, and provide some general pointers to make this easier for all involved… <opens arms wide> … and here we are. And just a quick note: this post will be filled with ‘David Rose’ gifs… because, well David Rose.

During our last sub-window, I wrote a post on slush and what we look for, plus a general overview of the process, which will be similar although not the same as most slush piles. That will give you a guide to what we’re looking for when it comes to SNAFU stories in the most general way – remember, be on point with theme.

And this edition is a hell of a theme.

As a mate of mine pointed out, the theme of ‘Holy War’ is a “bold move”, hence the specificity of the guidelines we’ve put together, and the special notes on what we DO NOT WANT. Pay close attention to those because we understand that in light of the theme, things could get ugly. So, in short, if you come at me with your bigotry or misogyny or your white-saviour stories, you’re not going to get a look-in. Period. Write better than that, be better than that.

At its heart, the SNAFU series is action-based military horror with characters that resonate and monsters of the nightmare kind. Tales that linger. We’re not looking for slow-burn stories, we’re not looking for trunk stories either (we can spot those, don’t think we can’t). And when we say ‘military’ that doesn’t limit you to soldiers of the contemporary kind, nor does it confine you to modern or on-world settings. We’ve published everything from Neanderthal hunting parties to far-future sci-fi within the same volume.

What we care about is killer stories told well, and considering our theme, there were tropes we wanted to address that we’d rather not see, and some you shouldn’t send us at all. If the first thing that comes to mind when you hear ‘Holy War’ is the Crusades, then that’s going to be a hard sell. We expect to see a lot of those, though we’d rather not. Same with any story that has Christian didacticism (I’ve seen enough of that in our slush to last me everyone’s lifetime). Same with any white saviour stories – we’re not buying.

We want you to think outside the box with this. Do a little research if you must. Theology has a wide range of belief systems, and faith isn’t limited to popularity. Hell, create your own faith-based doctrine, revive a forgotten one. Don’t limit yourself to a Google search. Light a fire under your imaginarium and see where those sparks take you.

Action. The more the better. Let the bullets fly, give the arrows wing, let the blades sink deep into flesh. Blow some shit up. Get the adrenalin surging, blood pumping. Give us that piss-your-pants fear-filled courage. You know, all the good stuff!

Crank up the volume of your monsters, too. Give us the stuff of your nightmare’s nightmares. Give us dread, existential dread that makes you want to sleep with the light on. Make it loud… or make it quiet. The sneaky-sneak of monsters is just as terrifying as a roar that rattles the bones, sometimes more so.

Speaking of dread, one of the things I want to address here is part of the ‘do not want’ section of the guidelines, and something I saw too damn much of during our last sub-window. Just let me get out my all-caps for this: DO NOT USE RAPE AS A PLOT DEVICE/BACKSTORY!

I’ll say again: DO NOT USE RAPE AS A PLOT DEVICE/BACKSTORY!

This should not be your ‘fall-back’ to show that someone is evil or the villain in your story. If that’s the only way you can think to give a character agency, or to show a reader a particular character is bad, then you need to re-engage your imagination. Also, do not send us that shit. You’re wasting my time and yours. It won’t be published by us. “But, but, but…” I hear you say? No. Just no. This isn’t a debate.

Right, on to the last little bit of info re our slush process. We work in phases. Slush is obvs Phase 1, and where a story is either rejected or moved to a long list. During Phase 2, all stories on the long list are read again, and will be either rejected or moved to the short list. Phase 3 is where we’ll make the final decision on the ToC. No story selections will be made until the AFTER the sub window closes.

We do not provide feedback on stories that are rejected in Phase 1. We may provide limited feedback on stories rejected within Phase 2, depending on workload. Should your story make it to Phase 3 and is rejected, we will provide feedback.

We’re writers too, so we understand what it’s like sitting the other side of the desk. We try to make this process as painless and as seamless as possible. Our decisions aren’t open for debate. Oh, and you cannot reject our rejection (true story), just sayin’.

For those of you unaware, three SNAFU stories appeared in season one of Love, Death & Robots, and some other SNAFU stories have been picked-up for season two. Tim Miller reads our anthologies, so if that doesn’t light a fire under your bum to send us your best work, then… well, then… ahh… SEND US YOUR BEST WORK!

/rant

Editing, publishing, Writing

Let’s talk about slush, ba-by…

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Let’s talk about you and me… Okay, okay, so my flashback to the ’90s is a little sad but kinda on point for this blog post. As one of the editors for the SNAFU anthologies, and with an upcoming submission window opening, Matthew Summers and I would like to talk about stories, slush, and selections.

Disclaimer time. The information provided here does not guarantee Matt and I will select your story for publication – plot, character, and voice will. But don’t send us a romance tale when it’s military monster horror we’re after. We will cut you.

Right then. Let’s kick this baby off with the guidelines for the open sub window for SNAFU: Last Stand (just click that link). While stories subbed to Cohesion Press have specific marks that need to be hit, one thing EVERYONE needs to understand when subbing a tale to ANY market is to not only READ the guidelines but ADHERE to them (the adhering is the most important part). Know your market.

Slush, we’ve all been there. Jostling for position, stuck in the hell that is the slush pile, shouting ‘look at me’ as you push toward the roped-off area that is the shortlist. So how do you get past the cordon? Look, reading is subjective – what I like someone else may not (they’re wrong), but if the past couple of SNAFUs have taught me anything, it’s that Matt and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to story selection. Not once have we had to fight it out (I’d win because I fight dirty, just sayin’). But your opening line, your opening paragraph, has to hook us and the following paragraphs need to reel us in. Your start needs to be strong, and it needs to build from there.

Stuck in Hell by 13UG-13th

Your aim, at this point, is to get onto that shortlist, and a killer opening scene is just the way to do it. Does that mean exploding out of the gate all guns blazing? Perhaps. We love high-action tales, and that’s bound to grab our attention. But it can also be that one line that sets the tone for what’s to come. One of my favourite opening lines from a story in SNAFU: Resurrection is from Conviction by NX Sharps – ‘On the 152nd day of our posting at Fort Conviction, Private Olyver Bagwell shit himself to death.’  That certainly had us take notice.

But the follow-up has to hold water. If your story doesn’t make good on its opening promise, then you could be in some trouble. Think about the story you’re wanting to tell, of the character(s) leading us through. A tale well written isn’t going to resonate as much as one that has me and Matt fate-invested.

That being said, well-written is definitely going to get you a look-in. We want narrative that moves a story forward, we want wordsmiths who know how to give us those evocative visuals that bring the horror, the fear, the dread. Active voice is your friend here. Spelling and grammar? We got that, but too many errors and we’re pulled from the story – it’s the same for all those babies sitting in slush piles.  

With the theme of Last Stand, characters will need to make their mark here. Interpret Last Stand as you will, there are an infinite number of ways to incorporate that into your story, but make that tale linger, make us think about it long after we’ve finished reading. And give us action. Make our hearts beat furiously, give us those ‘oh shit’ moments, and make your monsters fucking terrifying. Remember, this is horror, monster horror… with guns and shit.   

One of the best and hardest part of this process is the final selection from the shortlist. Matt and I have passed on some truly great stories, which is always a difficult thing to do. And we don’t take these decisions lightly – a lot of time goes into decision-making, a lot of discussion and back and forths until we have the mixture just right. We don’t make acceptances as we go; something we love early on may not make the cut because a later story in a similar vein resonates more. Our aim here is to provide our readers with a variety of kick-arse tales, where you don’t know what’s coming but you’re hanging for it just the same. The overriding theme that ties them together, obviously, is ‘last stand’. Make it count.

So while I hope this helps you to understand our process, I also hope it helps you to understand the process for any slush pile you find yourself in. Writing truly is the best gig in the world, and rejections are a part of that. We know. Matt and I both sit the other side of the table, we’ve had stories accepted and we’ve faced that sting of rejection. We understand the work, the effort, the time and the angst that goes into getting those words onto the page, of wrangling your imagination into narrative. We salute every one of you.

And for those of you who make it to that final ToC, just a note here to let you know the work has only just begun. There will be edits. We may ask for tweaks, we may ask for rewrites, we may cut a little, we may cut a lot. Thing is, we’ve been doing this a long time, we know our audience and we know what they like. Be professional, not precious. Co-operation is key here. That’s a two-way street, and we have cut stories because of bad author behaviour. Don’t be that person. Keep communication lines open and listen to us as we’ll listen to you. Our aim here is to get the most out of your story, and we will work hard to make it so.

But just before I go, as you may have seen, the introduction for SNAFU: Last Stand will be written by Tim Miller (yes, of Deadpool and the new Terminator fame). As such, we understand the slush pile may well be large – Tim will be reading the final tales. And if that isn’t a reason to send us your very best, I don’t know what is.

Submission window for SNAFU: Last Stand opens April 1st, 2019. (No, that’s not a joke. Yes, we are laughing.)

Life and stuff, Novel, Ramblings, Writing

Writers, Retreats, and Insane Asylums

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It’s been just over a week since I returned from a Writer’s Retreat held at Mayday Hills Lunatic Asylum at Beechworth. Yep, you read right – a writer’s retreat held at an old insane asylum. It was as awesome as it sounds. Five days sequestered with other writers in a hauntingly (and quite possibly haunted) beautiful asylum is the stuff of inspiration. And personing. I did a whole lot of personing.

What made this doubly excellent was the other writers in attendance, all but one of whom were very close friends, so it was a catch-up of epic proportions. This also meant that we were all comfortable throwing around ideas and points of view, and engaging in general shenanigans. But we were there to write, to have that uninterrupted time some of us seldom get when at home. And it was glorious.

Writing is often a solitary endeavour where you live in your created worlds among created people. But put a bunch of writers together, and it’s a whirlwind of book discussions, plot summaries, story ideas, and why synopsis writing is the tenth circle of Hell. There’s joy in this cacophony; the rise and fall of voices, the quirks and strange paths conversations take that would make no sense to non-writerly folk but which feeds the soul and the muse of those who bleed ink. They will tell you why your story necessitates the killing of a character (beloved or otherwise) then offer a plethora of options on how to do so that would land them on any federal watchlist.

Just being among fellow scribes is enough to invigorate, enough to drown out that writer-imposteritis but we were also fortunate enough to have the wonderful pocket-rocket Kylie Chan providing workshops all through Saturday, which were fantastic, but always there was time to write. There’s not a lot better than sitting in a nicely heated room listening to the clack of keys in the silence as worlds and people are created – individual galaxies within a shared universe. It’s kinda cool.

But when we weren’t writing, there were historical tours of the asylum, and one very late night there was also a paranormal investigation. As much as I would have liked to go on the paranormal investigation, when it’s -4˚ outside… well, I’m staying where the heat is. Those that took up the challenge had a great time despite the sub-zero temps.

We ate, slept and created together… wait, let me rephrase. Look, we bunked down in the same room, wore pretty much all the clothes we’d brought with us when it was time to venture outside – hell, I even wore my slippers out to dinner because damn it was cold. We took the piss out of each other, we laughed, and we revelled in our own and each other’s weirdness.

And the location was everything. The asylum has a melancholic beauty about it.  The history is both shocking and sad, with desolate and worn-down buildings that hold memories that are like scars. For my mind, pain and suffering has a tendency to linger, to echo long after people are gone, and I don’t doubt there is fear and horror etched into some of the walls, the cells of the asylum.

IMG_20170827_220119_resized_20170827_100137334

Too soon the time was over, and I had to take a tiny plane home, but those five days were like manna from heaven. I came away with so much more than just a honed story premise and structural architecture (and glow-in-the-dark skeletal gloves), but a renewed vigour for writing. I can’t wait to go again next year. And I can’t thank all the people involved enough, but let me try.

To Geoff and Dawn for organising and running the reatreat – you two work immensely hard not only on Asylum Ghost Tours but Cohesion Press as well. You two rock. (Special shout out to Mandy and Leah for all they did over the five days as well.)

Now I’m going to list the writers at the retreat – they are an amazing bunch and you really should be reading their work. They’re incredible and diverse storytellers, and there should be something in here for everyone.

Kylie Chan

Devin Madson

Marty Young

Andrew McKiernan

David Schembri

Fiona Shearer.

And for all those writers out there, find a retreat, a place that evokes inspiration and puts you around others who not only share your passion to create, but will encourage and badger you to do so.

Art, Reading, Reviews

Art of the Cover

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Let’s talk about book covers. Yes, let’s. Because if my Facebook feed is anything to go by, then of late cover art has been more miss than hit. No, seriously. If I see another book cover that looks like the “artist” went at it with Microsoft Paint, I will lose my goddamn mind.

Now before I get my ranty-pants well and truly on, I won’t be filling this post with shite covers, but excellent ones by the amazing artist Dean Samed, who does all Cohesion Press covers. I’ll be talking about artists as well, because this is as much about the author as it is the artist – each is as responsible (or complicit) for the end product. I’ll get to publishers later in the piece… yep, no one gets out unscathed here!

Okay, authors, listen up. Covers matter. They matter a whole lot. It is the visual representation of the work within, and the first (yes, FIRST) point-of-contact for a potential reader (and buyer) of your book. A great cover will stop a reader in their tracks and have them pick up your book or click that link, and that’s half the battle won right there. And make no mistake, this is a battle. You’re competing with gazillions of other authors out there for potential readers, and a cover – a GOOD cover – will entice.

Jade Gods HR.jpg

A shit cover? Well, move along, folks – nothing to see here. Readers are discerning; it’s their money they’re parting with, and if you haven’t put the effort into obtaining the best cover you can, why should they believe you’ve made the effort with the writing? Now I know people will be jumping up and down spouting: “you can’t judge a book by its cover!” Well I call bullshit. I most certainly will judge your book by its cover. And so will a whooooole bunch of others. That’s income. Your potential income you’re wagering on the hope that readers will forgive that shite cover and buy your book. But why would they when there’s a plethora of other great covers out there? Know that your crap cover will not find a place on my bookshelf. I’m not alone in this thinking.

A great cover will generate interest. It has the potential to be shared on social media platforms that will increase your reach and garner readers. It will put you and your book(s) on readers’ radar. You seeing the positives here?

But what makes a good cover, I hear you ask. A few things. A few very simple things.

  • It must represent what’s inside. Hit your genre; don’t be putting a zombie on historical romance (unless it’s a zombie historical romance tale).
  • Fonting should be clean, simple, and easy to read. Just because you’re writing horror, doesn’t mean your fonting has to be red… or dripping blood… (please stop doing that).
  • Watch your elements. This is something I see quite a bit – filling the cover with too much stuff. Ooh, there’s a castle in the story, and an elf, and a magical sword…ooh, ooh, ooh, and a horse and a dragon, and, and, and… Don’t make it busy. It doesn’t draw the eye, it confuses it. Singularity is your friend here – one major element with one or two smaller complementary elements. It’s all about balance.
  • Watch your colour. Background colour has to work with font colour. And the busier the palette, the harder it’s going to be to get that right.
  • Do not, I repeat, DO NOT put ‘A Novel’ on the cover of a novel. We’re not idiots.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s a bit more that goes into it than the above five points, but those ↑ up there are some pretty straightforward things to keep in mind when engaging a cover artist. You will be the one providing the artist the brief (some artists won’t have time to read your novel, so they rely on you to give them the information they need), so don’t overload them with every single piece of the plot and every character, but give them the main focus points and trust them – they’re the artist, they know what they’re doing.

Into the Mist HR.jpg

And therein can sometimes lie the rub. Not all who claim to be cover artists, actually are. I’ve seen sites popping up on my social media pages with people proclaiming they’re cover artists and offering their ‘work’ for either a pittance, or way too much for the end product. Just because you can mock up a cover and throw some fancy fonting (not always a good choice) over it, doesn’t make you a cover designer. Really, it doesn’t.

Thing is, there are plenty of fantastic cover artists/designers out there who offer amazing work for reasonable prices. You invested in editing (please, tell me you invested in editing), so invest in the coat your baby is going to wear. It doesn’t have to be original art (although there’s something extraordinarily special about those covers), but there are designers out there who work wonders with stock photography who know how to blend the hell out of it to make it seamless.

Dean Samed of NeoStock is a brilliant creative who knows his shit. He understands books and the power of covers, he knows how to blend and manipulate and manoeuvre images to create some mind-blowing covers. Dean understands the market, he understands covers, and he knows his art. He’s also seen a gap in the market when it comes to stock photography, and has started NeoStock – check it out if you’re looking for original stock art that kills what’s currently on offer around the web.

So how do you find a good artist? Again, this is simple. Ask. Get on your social media platforms, send out a request. Sure, you’re going to get contacted by some crap “artists” that’s par for the course, but you could find that gem you’re looking for. Chat to other authors, get recommendations from them. Check out other book covers, and if you find a cover you love check the front matter to see if the artist is listed (they usually are), or get in touch with the author and ask. Deviantart is also a great place to scope artists. While they may not be able to mock up a cover for you, they will provide you with art that doesn’t look like a toddler went at it with crayons.

And if you think readers don’t mind what a cover looks likes, think again. There are whole websites dedicated to the shittiest of shittest covers (see here and here for some examples). Trust me, you don’t want to end up on these websites, it will be nothing but scorn and derision. And that pretty much sucks for you re sales.

So think about the cover you’re wanting to put on your book, find an artist who knows what they’re doing (look at their portfolio or ask to see previous work, and don’t be afraid to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ – you can do that, you know), and get yourself the best cover you possibly can. You’ll be proud of the end-product, and your readers will thank you for putting in the effort to make your book awesome both inside and out. Don’t short-change your book, and don’t short-change the reader.

American Nocturne HR.jpg

And if you’re a publisher don’t short-change your author or their work. If you want to be taken seriously in this industry, if you want to make a go of this business then you have to take this seriously, too. Don’t hire your friend’s kid’s uncle’s intern to do the work – INVEST in the cover like you’re investing in the author. The Big Five are as guilty of this as mid-to-small presses and author-publishers. Of late, the Big Five have been seriously dropping the ball when it comes to cover art. So do better. Be better. If you, as a publisher, want to see a return on your investment, then you need to offer a product that hits the mark on all fronts. That means kick-arse covers.

For those of you thinking this isn’t as important as I’m telling you it is, you’re wrong, so very wrong. Social-media marketing will definitely help with sales, but if you’re doing that with a shite or mediocre cover, you’re limiting your reach. Yes, family, friends and colleagues will buy your book, but if you want to be successful, then you have to reach those who wouldn’t normally know of you, and the best way to do that is to have a cover that makes them sit up and take notice. They’ll share it, then their friends will share it. Covers can do that. They’re magical if done well. And who doesn’t love a bit of magic? It’s why we write.

Oh, and for the love of all things holy and unholy DON’T DO IT YOURSELF. NO. I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN’T. LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS! YOU THERE, PUT DOWN THAT MICROSOFT PAINT AND STEP AWAAAY FROM THE PC!

Remember, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Primordial HR

 

Life and stuff, Ramblings

Shenanigans to resume shortly

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Well we’re in March, and this is the first chance I’ve had to get back to the blogosphere. I’d aimed to do better with the blogging this year but life, in all its middle-finger goodness, decided it had other ideas. Not that 2017 has been worthy of the middle-finger for me, but rather best laid plans and all…

It’s been a hectic couple of months, with family staying with us (mine and my partner’s – his coming all the way from Uruguay), a marriage (not mine and my partner’s), kids heading reluctantly back to school, and getting back into the groove with work, which is always difficult after a month away. But back I am.

There’s quite a lot happening on the work front with Cohesion Press, with some killer novels coming out this year – military horror kick-arsery (so a word) and creature-feature deliciousness. Have I told you how much I love my job?  Seriously, reading killer stories before unleashing them on the world is like crack – book crack.

But there are other big things happening on the Cohesion front, and while it’s too early to give away the details (well that, and an ‘on pain of death’ clause), it’s damn exciting. Like super, uber, surreal exciting. Details will be forthcoming. Later. Down the track. Sometime. Shhh.

Oh, and if you were unaware, the submission window for SNAFU: Judgement Day has about two months left in it. Check out the guidelines, follow the guidelines, and send your best work. The series is going epically strong, and really… apocalyptic fiction? How can you not write it?

On the writing front, things are moving a little slower than I’ve wanted this year, but I’ve also learned to be kinder to myself when it comes to the putting down ink. I’m reworking a story I’m extremely excited about, and I am going to submit that bitch until it finds a home. It deserves to find a home – the characters told me so, and they’ve got weapons and magic and an army of the dead, so I’m gonna listen to them.

Reading… oh, how I love thee. I’m ahead of my pretty low schedule of books to read this year – about a quarter of my way through my sixth novel. And despite my absolute reluctance, I will readily admit this is due to now owning a Kindle. Yes, Geoff, I have finally publicly admitted my love of the Kindle. Those screams you hear are my print books howling at the betrayal. But, but, but… it’s not complete and utter betrayal, as a print book was purchased the other day that is now nestled in my new bookcase, so ner!

So that above paragraph means book reviews will start hitting the blog (the first probably tomorrow), and I’ll have a Women in Horror Month article up soonish too. Then normal shenanigans will resume fairly regularly.

/stream-of-consciousness

Festivus, Reading, Reviews, Uncategorized

Festivus Book Pimping – Fathomless by Greig Beck

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The countdown to Christmas is well and truly on, but pimp on I must! Today, it’s multi-award-winning author Greig Beck and his wickedly frightening Fathomless. Yeah, we’re all gonna need a bigger boat.

Duuun-dun… duuun-dun… dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…

What?

fathomless

Okay, so from the cover alone (‘nother shout-out to Dean Samed of NeoStock), it’s clear we’re talking shark story here – think Megalodon. Yep, you know, that’s been instinct for millions of years… but have they?

That’s the premise of Fathomless (Cohesion Press), and Beck kicks it out of the park with his tale. Now before we go further, full disclosure. As I’ve mentioned, my reading for pleasure took a back seat to work this year, so a lot of what I’ve read has involved novels I’ve worked on, and Fathomless was one of them. But here’s the thing, it’s not often that I’ve had to get up from my desk and take a breather because the story was freaking me the hell out. With Fathomless, I did that three or four times. Nope, can’t handle the tension, time to take a break and calm the hell down. Three passes I made of this story, and each time, even when I knew what was coming, my pulse quickened and the voices in my head (yes, there are many) were yelling at the characters to swim faster, dammit! (Actually, there were a lot more swear words, but you get the picture.)

So despite me having edited Fathomless, it’s one of my picks of the year for horror books.

From the back cover:

Jim Granger is searching for a place of legend. Known as ‘Bad Water’ by the island’s elders, it’s reputed to be home to many dangerous creatures. Through a seam in a cliff face, Jim finds what he seeks. He also finds, too late, that the water demon he was warned about is horrifyingly real.

Today, Cate Granger is following in her grandfather’s footsteps. Along with a team of scientists and crew, she accidentally releases a creature from Earth’s primordial past into today’s oceans. Nothing is safe on or below the water.
The story essentially has two parts. The first being Cate and her crews trek deep beneath the Earth’s crust to an immense underwater ocean that’s been suspended in time. Traversing the sea in a damn small sub, they discover marine life once thought extinct. They also discover the Megaladon.

Beck uses that instinctual fear that’s been loaded into our DNA from the beginning of time – fear of Alpha predators (and boy, is the Meg one hell of an Alpha), and added a touch of claustrophobia into this first section, because… why not? And there’s no natural light down there, so much of what’s happening does so in complete darkness.

There are at least three scenes in this section that had me freaking out. Yeah, sharks are one of my biggest fears. Living in Australia can do that to a person. The second part takes place once the Megalodon has been released into today’s oceans, with Cate and part of her crew (plus some newbies), going out to hunt the shark. Not all goes according to plan.

This is a killer book, and if you’re looking for a tale that will amp up your tension, and have you questioning whether you really should go back into the water, then Fathomless is the book you need to be reading. Or gift it to someone who loves that spinchter-clenching form of thriller and terror.

You can read a review of Fathomless here.

Recommended for lovers of horror, suspense, thrillers, and plain ol’ ‘holy crap, swim faster, swim faster!’

 

 

 

Cool stuff, Festivus, Reading, Reviews, Writing

Festivus Book Pimping – Into the Mist by Lee Murray

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Yes, yes, I’m cutting it fine with the Festivus Book Pimping, but remember, as much as I love a print book (oooh, they smell so good!), ebooks are also damn fine presents. So kicking off today’s Festivus pimping is mutli-award-winning New Zealand author, Lee Murray, with her book Into the Mist.

RAWR!

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As you can tell from the absolutely kick-arse cover , Into the Mist, is a military horror creature-feature tale, but this one is set in the wilds of New Zealand with a creature ripped straight from Māori legend. It was very cool to read not only Murray’s vivid descriptions of the NZ back-country, but to delve into the culture and rites of a strong and proud people.

Into the Mist (Cohesion Press), follows NZDF Sergeant Taine McKenna and his squad as they escort a group of civilian contractors into the Te Urewera National Park. Not usually a job for the army, McKenna’s other task (off the books) is to find any trace of squad that had vanished while trekking through the National Park.

From the back-cover blurb:

Militant Tūhoe separatists are active in the area, and with its cloying mist and steep ravines, the forest is a treacherous place in winter. Yet nothing has prepared Taine for the true danger that awaits them … a prehistoric creature intent on picking them off one by one.

From the outset, you’re thrust into the action, and the tension Murray weaves throughout the story never lets up. With sub-plots woven perfectly through the tale, the reader is given a glimpse of the rich Māori history, and the struggles to maintain their culture and their land against those intent to profit from it. It’s brutal, it’s gory, and when the chase is on, your gut will be clenching right along with the soldiers and the civilian charges.

And this beastie? Oh, it’s smart, and it’s stealthy, and it’s impervious to the squad’s guns. And shoot it a lot… and you know that only makes the monster mad… and vengeful. Murray is a mistress of tension, and she will make you dance to her tune. I was enamoured with this book, but I grew up on stories of Māori legend via my father (he’s Pākehā, not Māori), so this was a real delight. And it’s wonderful to see diversity in fiction; the world needs more of it.

There’s also a glossary of Māori and local terms for those unfamiliar with the country and its culture, but the way Murray tells the story, understanding is a given.

Read this book you must. Give it as a gift you also must. But I guarantee it will be one you can’t put down. You can read a review of Into the Mist here.

Recommended for lovers of horror, military horror, creature-feature, and balls-to-the-wall fear-mongering. Yeah, this book has it all.

Go, now, Festivus Into the Mist, you won’t be disappointed.

RAWR!